First of all, God is good, and my blood levels were great at my last blood check! I know it's only because of all of your prayers. Thank you so much. I go for another blood draw this Thursday, just to make sure everything is ready for chemo on Friday. I always take all kinds of stuff to keep me busy : books, puzzles, cross-stitch, etc., but so far, since I take the Rituxin first and they give me IV Benadryl, I'm not awake for most of the day. Maybe this time I'll cut down on the stuff. But not the snacks, or D won't know what to do.
It's been a long week...mainly because I think it's finally setting in that this is going to be a long process. One of my friends that has been through chemo mentioned that it would probably be a year before my hair gets to come back. I had read that...somewhere...but to hear it, and finally realize it, was quite a blow. My loving husband always says that I'm beautiful no matter what, and that HE'S USED TO ME BEING BALD (like that's a good thing), but I still can't look in any mirror that I pass, and I really miss my hair. I really miss being able to just jump in the car and go shopping without stopping first to grab something to cover up my head so I don't scare the normals.
I also am realizing that teaching this year is going to be really hard and tiring and the pits. I still have headaches all the time, and I tire easily, and I cry at the drop of a hat, and that is on my good week. All my drama training means I can put on a great, cheerful front and convince everyone that I'm on top of everything...for a while. But it's wearing thin. And I feel like I'm swimming the Atlantic...and I just got out of sight of land. There's a lot of swimming ahead.